the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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