yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
