There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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