So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
