Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
