The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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