In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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