can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Randomize