It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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