We named our party play list daddy issues
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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