I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
