all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
