What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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