and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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