thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
