Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
