Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
