Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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