I have demons in me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
