Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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