look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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