At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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