I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
