she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
