Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
