talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
