Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
