I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
