office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
