She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
