The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
