so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
