Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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