so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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