tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
