I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize