you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
