It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
why is half of my head shaved?
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