What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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