Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
