everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
i think i just lost a toe
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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