remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
