how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Randomize
