I want to walk on stilts...naked
I smell stomach acid.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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