he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
