And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
