Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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