When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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