I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
