I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My bed smells like the plague
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