She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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