do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize