i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
