Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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