i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
