after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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