Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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