I wish I could teleport
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
